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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| batin'"masturbation" is spelled wrong. Clearly it should be "masterbation" because when you're doing it, it's clear who the mother fucking master is.
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| planIdiots at job interviews keep asking me what my five year plan is. What a dumb fucking question. Obviously, my short term goal is to get laid. Long term, I'd like to get laid some more.
I suppose it would be good to eventually settle down, marry, and have kids. I would love to fuck the nanny, or whoever we bring over to this country. This reminds me of when I was 13 and screwing my babysitter. No story there, just a great fucking memory. | | |
| Someone told me to get a fucking job, so I got one. I am an investment banker medic. When a deal goes bad, they cry out "Medic!", and i rush over to the trading floor and give them morphine. Or was that heroin. Or was that an eastern-european prostitute. One of those. | | |
| here is an rko update
Back in 2003, I wrote some bad shit about this girl's xanga. It turns out people can actually learn to read and write these days, and her xanga isn't fucked up anymore. I was going to say something about being pretty, but the child predatory laws are getting stringent. gotta stay outa the Place. can't go back. never. go. back.
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| Heather, why do you keep introducing me to your latest boyfriend. This week it's Fucktard X. Last time it was Corporal Shitferbrains. Before that, Johnson Cumtits. Why do you expect me to remember their names? I have better things to do than remember these worthless fuckers, suc as box hunting.
How bout this. Just keep dating guys named John. This way, I'm always covered. I'll always know I can say "hey, john" and the neanderthal of the week can grunt back. This shouldn't put a dent in your fucked-up, my-father-touched-me-so-this-is-what-I-call-a love life because clearly you don't have any fucking criteria for choosing who you date other than any motherfucker with a nubb between their legs. This will give you some direction in life, you coked up whore.
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